The past few weeks I've had a party almost daily. A party for myself...and pity was the only guest. When I took a step back and took a look I was ashamed....the things that I worry over are so small compared to what they could be, or what I see others struggling with. Given the event of a tragedy, they would mean next to nothing. I started considering the things I was thankful for.....salvation, my husband and children, my marriage, my extended family, my friends, my church, my home, my health, etc. etc.
I decided that I need to get back to finding pleasure in everyday small things....I've pretty much always been a person that could find something enjoyable no matter what my surroundings. Whether it be a tree gently swaying outside of a window, the sound of rain, a cat swishing its tail, the clouds, the sun...something.. It's always there, it's just whether I take the time to consider it. Yesterday, Julia and I sat and watched a squirrel digging and scurrying and carrying it's bounty away. A common sight, one easily passed over, but enjoyable.
I also come to the conclusion I need to *slow* down. Mentally more than anything. I had gotten into a mode of not focusing on the task at hand, but projecting onto the next thing that needed to be done. This rat race produces anxiety, stress, and leaves me feeling exhausted at the end of the day. I also don't give the needed attention to my children during the day when I am so engrossed in "doing and going and getting". Being there means more than *being* there. :-)
Our lifestyle does require that I multitask, stay pretty much busy, carry on more than one conversation at a time, and being able to switch gears quickly and smoothly. I do nearly everything during the day with one of the kids talking to me. I can't always take the time to do things how I want to, when I want to. But what I can do is make the best of the moment. If the moment is stressful, I can handle it with grace. If the moment is hurried, I can slow my mind. I can accomplish these things with Him who has has brought me this far, I can hand Him the worries and fretfulness, the cares and burdens, the fear and intimidation.
And He will carry the load.
- ► 2010 (10)