Sunday, June 26, 2011
A couple of weeks back I was in walmart with my Dear Daughter and her friend...we were shopping for supplies for an enrichment class. Anyway, here I was at the candy aisle, looking for candy bugs...I was busy and didn't see the lady behind me and unknowing stepped in front of her. But, no fear, she let me know...I heard a huge, "WELL EXCUSE ME!" I jumped and said, "oh my, I'm sorry, I didn't see you." She proceeded to give me a mouth full of garbage at which point I started to think I may know this person and she was trying to pull some sort of strange joke on me. (That or I was on some sadly skewed version of candid camera) I asked, "Are you for real?" She (in so many words) let me know she was. I was beyond amazed this lady was so angry at me accidentally stepping in front of her. I found it comical, with a chuckle said, "Well, Maam, I do hope this is the worst thing that happens to you today." I said this instantly without thinking, with a smile on my face and my hand gently on her arm. ( I must learn to hold my tongue) Well, this infuriated her more, her facial expression went from bad to worse as she said even more (ahem) "nice" things. Dear Daughter and Friend were standing there with mouths agape. I told them not to worry about it. It would be ok that this lady obviously didn't know any better than to act like this. I patted Ms. Angry on the arm and told her to have a nice day and walked away.
This experience led to an interesting conversation with the kiddos with me about Anger. I first told them, that more than likely something else in the person's life had made them lash out in anger. But I have this little saying about anger...reserve it for the times it will accomplish something and don't let it corrupt you. Anger can be a great motivator. However, it can also drain a person without accomplishing anything.
I feel like that we, as a whole society, are becoming so involved with ourselves and what we want that everything gets pushed aside. It's often easy to let your anger flare, or to lash out at someone because they said or did something "first". I don't have an explosive temper, so it's usually not an issue for me. Other times I *choose* not to get angry simply because I don't want to waste my energy on something that isn't important to me.
Of course there are the times I absolutely do get angry, I try to make those times productive. After I apologize to those around me for things I've said, made sure I didn't damage the floor when I stomped my foot, put drops in my eyes to help with the busted blood vessels, unclenched my teeth, and took deep breaths to help lower my blood pressure I try to address the issue. :-)
Really, all joking aside, try to save anger for things that matter, things that can be helped, most importantly issues that are deserving of anger. So many times, Anger is just a needless waste of energy (and who needs to waste that, right??) I feel badly for folks who have so much garbage in their lives that they have developed a serious anger issue. Ultimately, though, we choose. I have observed some folks with utter destruction in their lives go through it without the added burden of anger, it seems they reach the other side of their trouble stronger, more whole, and more content.
Think before you _________________-(insert anger action. i.e. scream, curse, hit things, snort, stomp feet, tear your hair...well you get the picture.) QUOTE BELOW:
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Monday, June 6, 2011
I know, using Modesty with the word Modern is *almost* an oxymoron. So very frustrating.
I am appalled and disgusted by what we have done to our girls. It doesn't take more than a few minutes in any clothing retail store to determine we are undermining the self esteem and self worth of our daughters.
Let me first be clear that I am speaking on decency here...modest in the sense of avoiding indecency or impropriety. Anyone who knows my family well knows that I am always wearing a modest skirt or a dress. I am well aware not everyone shares the same convictions. But regardless of how you choose to dress your girls you can do so *modestly*. Meaning, covering their bodies, and not dressing them in clothes that are sexually suggestive. More over, we can behave in a way as adults that doesn't say to our girls, "dress provocatively to encourage attention from the opposite sex". I have never quite understood why women who cared at all about themselves felt it necessary to make sure their cleavage was showing. Really. What has happened to us???
I personally, want my sweet daughter to feel like her self worth is more than her body. I *don't* want her to feel like she has to "show" to be pretty. or accepted.
Young ladies should not be encouraged to use their bodies that way. It's degrading. It's disgusting. It's WRONG.
Some how our society has gotten the idea that if it's natural, it's fine to expose and that if you are modest you are somehow saying that certain areas of your body are "bad" or certain behaviors (breast feeding for one) is wrong. There is beauty in modesty. There is respect in modesty.
I believe for so many parents it's the need for their child to "fit in" that lends us to letting go of some of our reservations. I, as a parent, can understand that. But somewhere in the rush to "grow up" our girls we've lost what is so important. Let them be children. By nature, we are adults much, much longer than we are children. Childhood is a precious time. Nurture your girls, love your girls, encourage your girls, educate your girls, pray with your girls, but please let them be just that....little girls. Encourage your tween/teen girls to be modest young ladies by example. Be the sex educator of your girls. Talk to them, explain to them, and listen to them.
While I most certainly don't have all of the answers and I (along with my Handsome Hubby) are raising a young lady of our own, I know that what society is leaning to is *not* the answer.
Here is a great article (by CNN no less!) on this topic (Parents Don't Dress your Little Girls Like Tramps)
I'll close by leaving you with this quote...
You have a good many little gifts and virtues, but there is no need of parading them, for conceit spoils the finest genius. There is not much danger that real talent or goodness will be overlooked long, and the great charm of all power is modesty.
Louisa May Alcott
- ► 2010 (10)