Weathering our Storms Together

Weathering our Storms Together

Saturday, October 24, 2009


Last night after the guys got the gun urge out of their system, we carved, I mean *they* carved pumpkins. I took pictures, cleaned out the fridge and cleaned up dinner dishes.
Every year about this time we all gather in the kitchen and start shouting ideas at Handsome Hubby (Master Carver). I always have a cat (surprise, surprise). The kid's ideas vary, but it's always something other than two triangles for eyes, one triangle for nose, and jagged means I can't carve it. Sweet Son and Dear Daughter usually help some, and have a grand time digging out the goo and making comments that turn my stomach. This year Sweet Son took up carving himself. He carved the third one from the left and had a great time doing it!
Pumpkin carving is a tradition in our household, and was in my household as a kid. My Daddy's birthday is on Halloween, so it was always lively and festive at our house, I kinda took that mood into my own family. I had no idea that there were people who didn't participate in the fun festivities until we started homeschooling ( I showed up at a fall event with ghost treats, argh) I read up on the history and was appalled. However, I am going to take the Victorian stance on this. The Victorians (early 1900's) made Halloween a "party time" originally started as a young adult celebration. They bobbed for apples, made cards, played games to "for tell" ones future spouse, and pretty much introduced the "fall festival".'s to some fun fall times.....

Here's the first couple of pumpkins Handsome Hubby Carved.
Julia got her pumpkin carved first, she gets sleepy around 8:30.

The long awaited for "goo moment". Sweet Son couldn't get enough....Dear Daughter was finished after the first couple of handfuls.

Handsome Hubby getting ready to carve. (He's *so* cute!)

Dear Daughter didn't last until all the carving was over. She made her a bed on the sofa so she could be near us and fell asleep. Miss Mary (kitty cat) liked her idea.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Being Thankful....

The past few weeks I've had a party almost daily. A party for myself...and pity was the only guest. When I took a step back and took a look I was ashamed....the things that I worry over are so small compared to what they could be, or what I see others struggling with. Given the event of a tragedy, they would mean next to nothing. I started considering the things I was thankful for.....salvation, my husband and children, my marriage, my extended family, my friends, my church, my home, my health, etc. etc.
I decided that I need to get back to finding pleasure in everyday small things....I've pretty much always been a person that could find something enjoyable no matter what my surroundings. Whether it be a tree gently swaying outside of a window, the sound of rain, a cat swishing its tail, the clouds, the sun...something.. It's always there, it's just whether I take the time to consider it. Yesterday, Julia and I sat and watched a squirrel digging and scurrying and carrying it's bounty away. A common sight, one easily passed over, but enjoyable.
I also come to the conclusion I need to *slow* down. Mentally more than anything. I had gotten into a mode of not focusing on the task at hand, but projecting onto the next thing that needed to be done. This rat race produces anxiety, stress, and leaves me feeling exhausted at the end of the day. I also don't give the needed attention to my children during the day when I am so engrossed in "doing and going and getting". Being there means more than *being* there. :-)

Our lifestyle does require that I multitask, stay pretty much busy, carry on more than one conversation at a time, and being able to switch gears quickly and smoothly. I do nearly everything during the day with one of the kids talking to me. I can't always take the time to do things how I want to, when I want to. But what I can do is make the best of the moment. If the moment is stressful, I can handle it with grace. If the moment is hurried, I can slow my mind. I can accomplish these things with Him who has has brought me this far, I can hand Him the worries and fretfulness, the cares and burdens, the fear and intimidation.
And He will carry the load.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Privacy....or the lack there of...

La Toilette. About the only place, recently, that I'm alone....well,not really alone, because I have many conversations through the bathroom door with my kids. This is, however, a step up. Not so many years back the kids, or at least one of them sat at my feet while I was on the toilet, or in my lap, or played with hair curlers in the floor.

I *love* homeschooling, but if there is anything I struggle with it's the lack of privacy....or lack of minutes I have alone. Everyone needs a few minutes alone at times. Sweet Son is 12 and Dear Daughter is 10 and they've always been home w/me....they've never been to public school (gasp, gasp). When they were little, I didn't have to worry much about what I said at the doctor's office, what they heard in my phone conversations, etc. etc. But now it's a real issue.
Earlier this year I had a hysterectomy. My kids went with me to *every* doctor's visit. In fact they were both with me at the initial visit just for a check up when Doc first thought there was something wrong. I was scared....but I had to gather myself together and go out and tell my kids it was "no big deal" that they needed to run a few tests. There sat both kids leafing through publications on breast cancer, ovarian and cervical cancer etc. (the only reading material in the office) Immediately both of them froze. and started to worry. And wanted to come back with me for the tests. Er, no honey, I don't think that is a good idea. (internal ultrasound). Both of the kids became well educated on fibroid tumors and learned about a my surgery and was there the day of.
Another issue for me is the buying of personal items. The kids are old enough now to send a few isles over and browse. But they both love looking through my cart. ARGH. Some things I just don't want them to see."What is this, Mom?" Gee Whiz.
Phone conversations are always monitored. Most of the time by dear daughter.....LOL. Very curious little lady, she is. For the most part the kids go w/me to the grocery, dentist, doctor, errands, well, just about anything I have to do. For the most part I enjoy it.
Every couple of months my parent's will offer to keep them for an afternoon or overnight. I really enjoy the first couple of hours. After that, my need to be alone or have privacy starts waning...if they stay over night, by the next morning I'm down right anxious for them to get home....LOL
I think about how quickly the past 10 and 12 years have passed...I don't have that many more left with them as I'm more than willing to forgo my privacy (and maybe even a tad of my sanity) to have the time with them.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Being Nice......

Being mean, angry, vindictive, or mad is exhausting. It's unrewarding and much of the time unproductive.
I had a very long day in town yesterday with my kids. We were there about 12 hours, doing errands, kiddos had classes, and we done some volunteer work. I ran into a couple of people who were just not being nice. I don't get it. Why not be feels better than being mean, it looks better than being mean, it's less exhausting than being mean, it's just PLAIN BETTER than being mean.

I'm not going to discuss one of my encounters of the "un-nice"...but the other incident happened at Kroger gas station. I carefully maneuvered my car to get a space at the pump and was about a fourth of the way in when, from the other direction, a person zipped right in the other three quarters of the way, stopped and starred at me and raised her eye brows, when I met her eyes, she looked away. I don't know why, but this struck me funny, I wandered what, in her life, had made her want to be mean.....Her grumpy look and need to be first made me laugh. Then ultimately made me feel sorry for her. I calmly backed out and went to another space. What did she get out of that? not sure. Gas fill up 10 seconds before me? Looking "big and bad" in front of her kids sitting in the back seat? Was she taking out on me her anger and need for control over someone in her life? Who knows.
But I've always been curious as to why people, on a regular basis, choose not to be nice. I know there are days when everyone gets mad or grumpy....and I know there are times when anger, used in the right way, can be a motivator....I'm sure that's how many of our laws are made and bills are passed. And I'm sure that it's a big part of battle field survival on the war front. However, most anything , in our every day lives, can be done with respect and with out all of the anger and huff gruff.

People who go out of their way to annoy, embarrass, harass, put-down, or one-up another person are sad folks. AND they are waiting for you to react in kind...
Same for those who are "sappy sweet" but internally vindictive and ill-will plotters.

Genuine nice is a stress reliever, a calming agent, a good example, a good night's rest producer, and it makes you (and those around you) smile.

Being nice is doing something good from your heart for the person who has wronged you.
Sometimes that's difficult. But, always is rewarding.

I get mad or angry at times and sometimes get the "un-nice" urge, but if I use my energy to something more productive I feel better every time.
If I let something that happened in my past, produce anger all of the time, then that person or event is controlling me and my life. If I let it go, give it to the Lord, and live..things are better and I'm a nicer person. :-)

Monday, October 5, 2009

Mothers and Children.........

I, up until the past year, had personally never met a female who didn't want children. I knew they were out there, but I just personally never had the chance to chat with one. (maybe it's my choice of company, don't meet many motherless children at homeschool groups LOL)

I've met those who couldn't have children. I have been a person who thought I couldn't have children ( or at least bring a living child into the world) at one point. It was heart wrenching and sad. I've met ladies whose husbands didn't want children. I listened to them lament over the fact that their husbands were too childish and caught up in their own lives to have children. I've also met, the "we're not ready yets" who want children in a few years. Then I met Millie (name has been changed).

I met Millie about a year ago at a nursing home. My family has always done quite a bit of volunteering at nursing homes and thoroughly enjoyed the crafts and events we helped out in.
On this particular day, I was waiting for the kids to finish a craft and I wondered in a room and there sat Millie, tears running down her face. Millie was 91.
I took her hand and sat with her. She started talking and I started weeping with her. She talked to me about her life, how successful she had been. The countries she visited, the classes she taught, the plays she had seen. She described the house she had lived in, the cars she had drove. She even mentioned the fashionable clothes she had worn. Then she told me about her decision not to have children. Millie was married to her husband for about fifty years. She told me they were "too busy" for the chaos children brought to lives, didn't want to put the energy, time or money into having children. Her husband had his hobbies, she had hers and their life was full. Millie told me she had never been more wrong about anything.
She said the biggest regret she has is not having children. "Look at me," Millie sobbed, "I sit here and watch children come in and comfort their parents, and watch the parent's eyes light up. I have none of that. I've missed everything."
I tried in vain, to comfort Millie. I left there sick to my stomach.
I've never been able to imagine what it would be like not to want children. I've wanted children as far back as I can remember. I wanted children when I was wagging around my baby dolls. I wanted children when I stuffed my cats into baby clothes and tried to cram bottles in their mouths. I wanted children when I babysat my neighbor's kids. I wanted children when I sat in the doctor's office and listened to him explain why I kept miscarrying. I've always wanted children. I think God designed us ladies that way.

While I've still never met a young lady who has told me she doesn't ever want children. I hear of them, and my response has been, well if they don't want children, they are better off without them....but now I think of Millie. I'm not quite sure what the answer is, but I can't imagine living my life without children.

Just my thoughts for today......

About Me

My photo
I'm a daughter of the King, the wife of a wonderful man, the mother to two caring, earthly children and two heavenly babes...