My Soul's Keeper.................

I think a post should be dedicated to the single most important gift in my life...Salvation. ♥

When I was a young girl, I went to a revival at Millerstown Baptist Church.  My Pa was the pastor and Bro. David Woosley was the help. I was 9.  I went in and out of church every weekend and many times in between with my family with no fear, doubt or concern for my soul.  But one night, in the midst of Bro. David preaching the word of God, my heart felt condemned.  I *knew* if I died I would go to Hell. I came to accountability in a split second.  One minute, ok. Next minute burdened heart.
I prayed my way to salvation. I was in trouble and I prayed for forgiveness and I meant business.  The Lord saved my soul September 24, 1986.  A time and a place.  I can take you there and it's bright in my mind.
Later in years, I was reading a church history book and one writer (early 1900s) explained it as "being loaded down and then all of a sudden the load was gone, as if I was carrying heavy

buckets and all of a sudden they weight wasn't there."  That is my experience....a blessing and assurance from God. A salvation from eternal hell....a promise of a heavenly home. A lifting of a heavy burden.

I believe whatever religion or faith you are, that you must be born again into the Kingdom of God.  I believe more than signing a card, or just saying a loud you accept Christ.  Jesus Christ accepted me and forgave me of my sins and I'm eternally thankful.

No matter what I have in this life, my gift of Salvation will always be the most precious. 

The Best I Can Do at the Moment......

So, Jarrod and I are raising our family.....and we now have two teens.   As of recent, I have been reflecting on situations in the past that often come back to haunt me. These are situations that I go over and over in my mind considering how they would have turned out different "if only I had...."
Argh.  I drive myself crazy with this.  Why?  Because I love my children and family and want to give them the best of what I have to give.  

I tell my children that when I "change" my mind on something, it isn't because I am being mean, or that I've suddenly decided to give in and give the go ahead on things that I've previously said no to.  It's because Jarrod and I have come to a better understanding on the subject, I have got an answer in prayer, or some other significant happening that shed light on the matter.

It seems like only yesterday I was 17 and getting married to Jarrod.  My head was full of things: I KNEW how I was going to raise my kids, and had very strong ideas of what I would and wouldn't do.  Of course, that lasted all of a couple of years.  A late term miscarriage, a subsequent miscarriage, in law troubles, and other issues gave me a good dose of reality in a hurry.  We never, ever, know the true story behind closed doors.  I, naively, thought that all marriages were like mine, and what I had seen of my parents growing up.  There are many things I would change within  that time period. Some things I would change are so painful to think about I still boo-hoo over them.  For one, I would have miscarried my babies at home instead of opting  for surgical removal and leaving the hospital with no remains. For another, I would have been kinder to Jarrod's parents, even when folks weren't being kind to me. I have a long ol' list. (sigh)

BUT, on a brighter note,  going through troubling times so very young, gave me a foot up a few years down the road when I had gained a bit of maturity.  I learned that you can love someone although they hurt you.  I learned that God knows just what to send, even when no one else knows what you need...HE does. 

I wish I knew half as much now as I thought I did at 17. :-)   Knowing I can't change the past, I look at it with the knowing that I was doing the best I could at the time....and for the moment, I try to tread carefully, and for the future...I try to rely on the Lord more.

Homeschooling...Again? Yes, Please.

 

 So last August Alex went to public school....and Julia followed in October.  I have had so very many questions, comments and thoughts  from others on this topic that I am devoting this post to just that.

    Alex. First, I have to say that I was ready for Alex to be out of the house before he actually was.  This is not from a lack of love for Alex, but quite the opposite. I didn't want to be in an argument with him all of the time. As a mother, it is very, very difficult to have a guy on the brink of young adulthood right under your nose and have him be accountable to you for so much of his work. And for me, and for him, this wasn't the ideal situation. At all. And, quite honestly, his going to public school saved my sanity.  I thought I was losing my mind. Really. No joke.  For those of you who have not raised boys, please don't judge me. :-)  I love Alex and am proud of the young man he is becoming.  I haven't always been proud of the decisions he's made, but I've always loved him to the core.  I am proud to say the past several months have been more balanced. Alex is going in to his Senior year and will continue that at the local high school so he can concentrate on his welding goals.  Alex hasn't been impressed with a lot about the local high school, but he does LOVE the welding program and the drama program.  So for Alex it will be 10 years of homeschooling, 2 years of public school.

Julia. Well, she followed Alex in October saying she was lonely.  I cried when she left. Julia is very easy to school and is mellow and calm. I don't think Julia has ever raised her voice to me or her dad in her almost 14 years. Julia spent 7 months in public school and is making her reappearance in homeschool in August!  YAY!  Do I want to homeschool again?  YES. Am I happy she's coming home? YES.  Julia done exceptional in school and got along with everyone.  She did, however, express to me on numerous occasions her awe at the lack of maturity in her peers.  I found this a little comical since Julia was *the* youngest student in the high school.  She went in at barely 13.   All I can say for that is homeschooling is *drastically* different than public school. :-) Our homeschool experience has been steeped in community service, classical learning, hands-on projects, and love. I am so thankful for that.

Me. Let's just say I'm all geared up for another year of homeschooling with Julia.  What I have missed: Learning together.  Sharing together.  Spontaneous trips for ice cream.  Discussing life together.  PJ days. Reading Classic lit aloud.  ..................


Anyway, I am grateful for the opportunity to have given our children an alternate to conventional education.  There's lots I would go back and do different, and lots I would leave the same.  But one thing I do not regret is having Alex and Julia learning at home during those tender, formative years. I am nearly certain Alex would have been labeled ADHD in a public school setting as a five year old.  :-)   There was nothing about our home school that was institutional and we were free to discuss God as creator during our lessons. 
  And for the record, I am not "anti-public  school".  Nor do I think my kids can "do no wrong" (snort).   I do not think we are "better" than those who don't homeschool. (ha)  On that same page, I am VERY comfortable with my kiddos social skills (have you met my kids???) I am confident they are well prepared for secondary education. And I do not feel like I owe an explanation of what  our family does or doesn't do to well-meaning (or otherwise) family members or friends.

 In my heart, I'll always be a homeschooling mom.  I am grateful to be tutoring some wonderful young people.  I use the same approach with them as I did with my children.  Many times parents, teachers and even the students themselves are surprised at how well they do with the extra time and attention of tutoring. I am never surprised. Ever.  Children are wonderful....and given the opportunity can blossom and thrive under even the most unfortunate circumstances.