Being mean, angry, vindictive, or mad is exhausting. It's unrewarding and much of the time unproductive.
I had a very long day in town yesterday with my kids. We were there about 12 hours, doing errands, kiddos had classes, and we done some volunteer work. I ran into a couple of people who were just not being nice. I don't get it. Why not be nice...it feels better than being mean, it looks better than being mean, it's less exhausting than being mean, it's just PLAIN BETTER than being mean.
I'm not going to discuss one of my encounters of the "un-nice"...but the other incident happened at Kroger gas station. I carefully maneuvered my car to get a space at the pump and was about a fourth of the way in when, from the other direction, a person zipped right in the other three quarters of the way, stopped and starred at me and raised her eye brows, when I met her eyes, she looked away. I don't know why, but this struck me funny, I wandered what, in her life, had made her want to be mean.....Her grumpy look and need to be first made me laugh. Then ultimately made me feel sorry for her. I calmly backed out and went to another space. What did she get out of that? not sure. Gas fill up 10 seconds before me? Looking "big and bad" in front of her kids sitting in the back seat? Was she taking out on me her anger and need for control over someone in her life? Who knows.
But I've always been curious as to why people, on a regular basis, choose not to be nice. I know there are days when everyone gets mad or grumpy....and I know there are times when anger, used in the right way, can be a motivator....I'm sure that's how many of our laws are made and bills are passed. And I'm sure that it's a big part of battle field survival on the war front. However, most anything , in our every day lives, can be done with respect and with out all of the anger and huff gruff.
People who go out of their way to annoy, embarrass, harass, put-down, or one-up another person are sad folks. AND they are waiting for you to react in kind...
Same for those who are "sappy sweet" but internally vindictive and ill-will plotters.
Genuine nice is a stress reliever, a calming agent, a good example, a good night's rest producer, and it makes you (and those around you) smile.
Being nice is doing something good from your heart for the person who has wronged you.
Sometimes that's difficult. But, always is rewarding.
I get mad or angry at times and sometimes get the "un-nice" urge, but if I use my energy to something more productive I feel better every time.
If I let something that happened in my past, produce anger all of the time, then that person or event is controlling me and my life. If I let it go, give it to the Lord, and live..things are better and I'm a nicer person. :-)
- ► 2010 (10)