FRIENDSHIP

Have you ever met the person that is *so* your friend when they need something from you? Or the person who is your friend to your face but not behind your back? Or the friend who couldn't keep the personal info told to them in confidence? Or maybe the friend who doesn't come through when you need them the most? Or you may have even met the friend who won't ask/tell something to you face to face, but is more than willing to go to someone else? Perhaps you've met the "needy" friend as well who just can't seem to get by without getting something from you on a regular basis? Or the friend that when you see their name on the caller ID you cringe, knowing it's a "favor request" since that is the only time they contact you? I'm using the word "friend" quite loosely here if you haven't guessed.....

I think we all have these types of people in our life, and if you let it, it can drag you down. The feeling of always having to live up to the person's needs and expectations....But what's on my mind is not these folks, but their polar opposites. TRUE FRIENDS

A TRUE FRIEND is a friend for life. Period. No matter the occasion or event. They don't cheat you, participate or encourage gossip about you or your loved ones. They don't dis you when your views aren't the same or you have differing opinions. They come through for you every time, they listen, they care. I think friends like these are few and far between in life. I have people in my life that I care about, love to talk to, enjoy hearing from and am happy every time I see them.....but not all are true friends.
I am a saved, born again, Heaven bound person, so my truest friend is my savior, Jesus Christ. He's all of these things and more importantly, he's my redeemer. And being the Awesome Savior he is, I think he provided people in our lives that make a profound difference. Those who immediately come to mind when you NEED someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, an unbiased ear...
A TRUE FRIENDSHIP doesn't change as the years pass, you pick up right where you left off, be it a couple of days passed, or a couple of decades. A TRUE FRIENDSHIP isn't hinged on phone conversations everyday, matching necklaces, or dinner invitations.....but on a connection for which there are no words, written explanations, or just expression, but that just IS.

TRUE FRIENDSHIP is a blessing......

LOOKING IT OVER.......

I am taking the time, out of necessity and love for my sanity, to reevaluate my goals. I am the person who LOVES to do lots of stuff. I especially like to help folks out. I think it's common, especially in today's society, for people to feel overwhelmed, too extended and like there aren't enough hours in a day. I don't want to be a person who becomes cranky and unkind over life's demands. Life does have many demands, but so many times demands aren't coming from life, but those around you and how you perceive requests and demands.....

As in one of my previous posts, I believe there are "seasons" in our lives, and I am trying to focus on what is important *now* in my life. I am also trying to come to grips with the fact I don't have to do everything anyone asks of me. I find myself fretting over what will happen if I turn them down. As if how well they "like" me depends on how much I do for them. This thought process has resulted in an overload. :-( Not good.

After Handsome Hubby and I got married, it was in our hearts to have children and for me to stay at home and actually be a mother to them and for them to be raised with us in our home and not dropped at a sitter or daycare every day. This isn't a slur to anyone who lives their lives this way, but simply what we felt was right, and best for children in general. I also wanted my parents to be "Pappaw and Granny" and not a babysitter or in the responsibility mode for my children on a regular basis. So we decided I would stay home. SO many people interpret that as *not working*. (cough, snort) I would get (and still do get) phone calls with folks saying, "well, I had to work all day, or ________ (fill in the blank with person) had to work all day." An unspoken dig at the fact that I was "not working". Initially I would just get aggravated, then I decided, that they meant no harm and just tried to over look it. Thinking they perhaps thought being at home every day equaled what they do on the weekend on a daily basis. Their bad for making assumptions of what my days are like without any facts. My bad for letting it get under my skin.

My purpose right now is faith, my family, and getting my kiddos through school. I am more than willing to help folks out along the way when I can, because I most certainly love to do that. I especially like helping the ones that don't ask for the help and those who are in great need of it.
However, Handsome Hubby, Sweet Son, and Dear Daughter have to be priority on my list. They are the ones God gave to me..,,

So, obviously my Goal isn't to get rich, (one income and homeschooling kinda states that fact), nor is it fame, but just being a responsible, content person. Giving my children opportunities to strengthen them into adults that will be able to handle the pressures of life in a responsible way is very important to myself and Handsome Hubby. Being the best I can be for my family and taking the time when I can to help others along the way. *AND* not letting someone pull a guilt trip on me when I can't do what they are asking, wanting, needing or demanding. Maybe that's not a goal, perhaps it's just priority. I shall not grow weary in well doing, but I also shall not over extend myself to the point that my *responsibilities* are being left at the end of my to do list.

What are your goals? Responsibilities? Are you letting someone "should" on you?? (you should do this, or you should do that?) Step back and take inventory...that's what I am trying to do...

Summer Break???

We're all so excited to be winding down our "school year"here at the Hawkins' house. Our 175 "required" days are in or nearly in and we are focusing on finishing lessons, books, and going over concepts that we may have had trouble with. Our acheivement testing is finished, club meetings will end in May, Speech will wind up in a month or so, required literature has been read, final reports will soon be put in the kids' portfolios, we're finishing up our final History unit study, and we're ready to plant flowers!
ANNNDDD....
we're ready to hit the Summer learning season...I don't think I've met many homeschooling families who do the cold turkey thing in the summer....we take those few months to dig into more community service projects, life skills, science projects, SOKY fair entries, and working on more difficult math concepts. Still, it's a break from our normal book work. :-)

I like to use those days to hone in on the life skills the kids need. Let them help pay the bills, make the deposits at the bank, grocery shop, change the oil, mow the yard, cook dinner, baby sit, and other things they will be sure to use in their lives ahead. While Sweet Son and Dear Daughter do some of these things on a regular basis, I think it's really fun to "dig deeper", like letting them plan a menu, make a grocery list, and give them a budget to do the shopping on. Sure, it takes much more time than if I just did that stuff myself, but the lessons are invaluable!

We also look forward to some fun times, we like bonfires, bike rides, walks at Mammoth Cave, lemonade on the deck, yard sales, and the other three in my family also look forward to canoeing and fishing. :-)

Looking forward to the warm weather and the changes it brings..........

Home School, School at Home, Home at School, etc.

Recently (and not so recently and in the future, I'm sure) I have been asked several (thousand, it seems) times , "How long are you going to homeschool?" The question is sometimes asked with genuine curiosity, other times with malice and doubt, but most of the times with an incredulous tone that smacks of "I can't believe you're doing this!". So, I am taking this post to address that question (because most of the time when I'm asked this question I don't give a legit answer). :-)

Ok, out with the bad side of me first, typically when I'm asked this question I want to answer with something like...1.) I don't know, really, but probably until they break their shackles and escape. or 2.) As long as they like staying home with me and watching the soaps.
I *don't* give these answers, I *do* mentally roll my eyes and huff.

When a family chooses to homeschool, for some reason, people assume liberties they might not otherwise take, or that I wouldn't take. I don't walk up to my church friends, acquaintances, etc and say, "Just exactly how long ARE you going to let your kid go to Public School?"

The age old comments are things like, "I would kill my kids if we had to spend every day with them." "How do you get them to listen to you?" "You're lucky you have this opportunity." "I'm not smart enough." "My children and I clash too much to homeschool." "Don't you worry about socialization?" "What about prom (sports, clubs, school bus, classroom, etc)" Most people are asking because they are ready to *pounce* on our ultra conservative decisions and out of the main stream life style and aren't really looking for my (or anyone else's) feelings/opinions or thoughts. In the first three or so years, I struggled to defend our position. Now, I just let them ramble and talk, it's much less stressful and somewhat amusing.

There is a certain person that I occasionally see that is bent on telling me what I need to do. I seriously doubt that she knows another homeschooling family as she was confused at the word "curriculum". I don't even know this person's name. This past week we had another run in with Lady-Knows-It-All. :-) We just let her talk. Perhaps she felt better after instructing me?

Ok, so anyway, I sincerely don't know how long we're going to homeschool....that's the answer! I didn't know when I started 8 1/2 years ago, and I don't know today. I take it year by year. If you asked my children this question they would be quick to tell you they are going to homeschool all the way through high school. No doubt about it. But I don't know the future anymore than the next person. Quite honestly, when we first started I couldn't imagine, from the farthermost stretch of my imagination, that we would still be on this road as Sweet Son is finishing his 8th grade year. I was told I could never make it, that my kids would be backward and unsocialized, wouldn't be prepared for the "real world" and that I would "soon tire" and be ready to send my kids off to school for the day. I, being very young, and looking up to the older people had serious seeds of doubt in my mind. But I was driven by a desire that came from our faith, and my knowing there had to be a better way than to hand my young children over to the State for most of their waking hours. Many folks don't agree with that, but that's the fabulous thing about the United States, we have freedom of choice in so many ways. We aren't bound to one idea.

Oh, and as for my kids being "unsocialized"....that's a hoot. That's all I'm going to say about that. :-)

So, here's to the parents I know that lovingly, willingly, and whole -heartedly give their minutes, hours, days, months and years to schooling their children at home, in the community, and in environments that encourage faith, family, accountability and a love for learning. For those who plan every unit study, lead fieldtrips, girl scout troops, drive to team meets, spend hours pouring over curriculum choices, plan thousands of crafts, volunteer to teach, work in your community and surround their children, daily, with the love of family....all for the conviction and not the cash. THAT's Home (car, hotel, dr.'s office, grocery store, church, outdoor, museum, community, and just about anywhere you can imagine!) Schooling!

For the LOVE of HANDSOME HUBBY....

It's time for another LOVE and MARRIAGE post! I adore hearing how husbands and wives show their devotion and love to each other. In the past month I've heard how one husband washes the dishes every time she cooks, of one hubby buying his wife a piano and the lessons to go with it, how one wife got *the ultimate* washer and dryer set she had been wanting for years...SWEET!
It's nifty when you can see the give and take of a strong relationship.
I'm a nut for the small things....which I suppose is a good thing, because the *large* things aren't an option in our life right now. I say this with no malice, as we are consciously making a decision to keep me home, with our children, homeschooling them. My own Handsome Hubby thrills my heart when he holds my hand, pats my back, kisses my cheek, gives me an understanding look at the right time, etc. One of the things I appreciate MOST about Handsome Hubby is that he doesn't *down* me in any way. To his friends, family, our kids...ANYONE. He's such a great guy. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE HIM!!!
You know what? I was accustomed to this. My wonderful parents showed the same kind of affection. I have NEVER heard my Dad speak down of my Mom to anyone, OR comment on how attractive he thinks another female is (unless it is of course his daughter (ME!) or his granddaughters.) My parents routinely kissed, held hands, sat close, etc. They STILL do.
I am an advocate for strong, faithful, Godly marriages. I am also an advocate of abandoning television for this simple reason. We are continuously throwing images of infidelity to our children, with a big green check mark beside it. ARGH. Corruption!!!
This isn't rocket science....it's just laziness and lack of self discipline....or something akin to it. Guys step up and be men...Women step down and be ladies.
I gladly embrace my feminine place in our life....For the love of Handsome Hubby!

The pic above is of the heart Handsome Hubby "stomped out" for me...

Dear Daughter likes to dress up *Chester* who normally doesn't mind....



My Brother and his lovely wife....



Dear Daughter with her stuffed monkey from Grandad and Grandma....




Sweet Son and Adorable Nephew.....




Handsome Hubby....with his *SANTA* gifts. Hershey's and Coke replace cookies and milk this year...



My Wonderful Mama and Adorable Nephew.....they love each other much....


Another pic of Adorable Nephew and my Brother...




Neat Drama Class I sat in on at the Kentucky High School Drama Festival...




Kids hanging out at WKU while I was judging the Drama Festival....



Us girls all dressed up...


One of life's greatest blessings.....my kiddos....

NOTE: My Dear Daddy almost always makes an appearance on my blog pics, however, I couldn't find a Christmas pic where Daddy's eyes wasn't closed.... (unintentionally or otherwise) LOL

We're gearing up for the winding down ....thought I better post a few pics of our December events before we got busy on the next semester of school.
This Christmas we spent a lot of time with my parents and my brother, his wife, and their son. It has been so fun...kind of glad to see all of the running subside, though
Usually in January and February, I get way burned out with homeschooling...I'm tired, it' s cold, I'm wanting to do inside projects, etc....but we've come this far....
Sweet Son is doing most of his glasses with KY Virtual Online High School...so not as much planning for him. He has a lot of work to do with his SKY academy (WKU speech team)..
I still teach and plan all of Julia's work at this point. She is *so* fun to teach.
I honestly figured at least one of my children would want to go to public school by this time in their lives. Neither do....so onward we go.
I am looking forward to spring events......I am trying to get my house cleaned "out" and "up"...
Blessings to all for a wonderful new year!
Beth

What Meets the Eye is not always What is in the Heart.....

I hesitated even putting up this post right now....given the "holiday season" It's kind of natural to lean toward "good will" thinking and gestures. However, the story I have to tell is not one that happened to the tune of the salvation army bell, to the back drop of falling snow, or even a cold month of the year. It was a warm day in May, not too long ago....

Let me start with the fact that I was raised in a household that taught accountability. You paid your bills, took care of your family, you didn't shop at Good Will, didn't participate in the reduced lunch program, didn't get medical cards, food stamps....you get the picture. My folks aren't snobs...they just believed in making your own way and not "copping out". (for the record, I *love* the Good Will store, this was just an issue with my Daddy)
Soooo....I kind of had this preconceived notion of some things that I wasn't accustomed to.

So anyway, I was driving to Wal-mart with my kids when as I was turning in, there sit a guy, with a dog, holding a sign that said : VERY HUNGRY, PLEASE HELP...ALSO NEED WORK.
This wasn't a new sight, nor was it surprising.....and my first reaction was "ewww". He looked like he needed a bath, and was outright asking for something. Now, I didn't say this out loud, but I *did* think it. My kids said, "Poor Man"...I said, "Yes, poor guy." But I was thinking, "maybe you should get rid of the dog, take a bath, and try to look presentable." I turned in the parking spot and went in. With each step I took, the feeling of dread in my heart grew. I was sick. I was told in my heart, by that still, small voice that I know well, that I *knew* nothing. I felt with a certainty that I would not make it home safely if I didn't take the man some food. I could list a million reasons why I didn't feel like I needed to give this man something 1.) our budget is *really* tight with Handsome Hubby's pay cut and he is out there daily working hard for not much 2.) Shouldn't that guy be "in action" trying to be productive in finding employment.....etc.
But anyway, I bought some things that had a long shelf life and took them out to him.
I don't *know* if he was legit, I don't *know* that he ate the food (he could have fed it to the dog?)...but I *do know* that I am answering to a higher power and *HE* will get my attention and if I want to keep my lines of communication open with *HIM* I will do his bidding. (Whether I can *figure out* the issue or not, this seems to be a problem with my analytical mind).

The point is I don't know everything, even what meets my eye does not scratch the surface. I am trying diligently to keep this in mind. There are things I will never understand. Recently while taking Dear Daughter for her Vandy checkup, I watched parents with terminally ill children. I read names on a memorial for pediatric cancer victims....Am I *better* than those people? NO.
I have always considered it a blessing to have healthy children. But am I "blessed" because I am better, harder praying, more deserving than the parent who just buried their child. Absolutely not. So I am considering my words.....
I recently commented on someone's home saying it was "lovely".....and it was, very nice interior and exterior, nice furniture, up to date everything. Parked outside were nice cars, and they went on a long vacation a few months prior. I was answered with , "Yes, we are blessed."
Sometimes it sounds like "Blessed" is tantamount to wealth, health, and "stuff". Hmmmm.....

I'm a firm believer that "hard times" (in whatever form) will come to us all....and that it is best to show empathy, offer genuine prayers, and reach out...no matter what you consider "a blessing"...

My opinion (and it's only that) is that it's a blessing, a privilege, an honor to be able to worship in freedom, call upon *Him* without fear, and trust in Him, my God, in the times that are troubled as well as the times that are peaceful.
I was once told you don't get the burdens you deserve, but those you can carry. I know some mighty strong people, whom many wouldn't consider "blessed"...but their strength is amazing, their grace is encouraging, their walk with God ..inspiring.....
*Blessed* is truly in the heart of the beholder....and it's not always what meets the eye that reflects what lays in the heart.